Domestic Goodness: Sweet or Salty?

 If you are expecting a debate on popcorn then I apologise but you will be deeply disappointed. Or perhaps not.
A friend recently advised me that he was on a “non-carbs” diet in an attempt to get rid of ‘the tummy’. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that ‘the tummy’ is middle-age spread and won’t be going away. Instead, I responded with “have you stopped drinking vodka then? It is made from potato you know”. A mortified, panic-stricken wail came back through the phone “NO. NO – don’t tell me that. I didn’t know!”
Moments, literally, later, I was formally advised that according to the World Wide Web, “vodka has zero carbs”. Only a man would find the time to check that out. Heaven forbid consumption of alcohol has to be terminated.
In the meantime, all this harping on about the carb content of vodka got me in the mood for a large one … or two.  Which then got me thinking about the extortionate number of ways one can take their vodka and how did I want mine; neat, mixed, with a twist, with an orange, as a shot, as a martini, as a cocktail? Through an ice-luge, through a straw or necked straight from the bottle. So many ways, so few hours!
Eager to get onto my first drink and not wanting to waste time contemplating, I texted aforementioned friend (I remember when you used to phone a friend!) and explained this very unsettling but important predicament. “Well he said, it is simple. It just depends on how you like it. (d’oh). I like mine neat with a sweet cherry that can be licked and nibbled”.
A whole new concept had opened up before me. All this time I had been focusing on the vodka, when in actual fact it was all about what you put in it.
“Well” I replied, “I like mine neat with an olive. Savoury but slightly salted. To suck on, before the vodka hits your insides setting alight an internal glow”
“Simple” he said.  I agreed – however I think he was referring to the vodka decision. I on the other hand was referring to him!  Only a man could have such a simplistic way of thinking, but I was delighted that I could be analysed so easily by a vodka expert (or perhaps ‘lush’ is a more appropriate term’)
What’s more; cherry or olive, I feel sure it would count towards my ‘five-a-day’, so with zero carbs, the vodka diet it is for me!!!